Wednesday, January 09, 2013

The Scary Back Doctor

Tomorrow, I'm going to go see a back pain specialist. I'm scared. I don't want to get an epidural that will make me pee my pants without knowing it. I don't want a steroid injection that might somehow be harboring a killer virus. Basically, I just want my back to magically heal itself without any work on my part or any help from medicine. But that won't happen. Boo hiss.

This particular flair started up... ? The middle of November? I'm not sure what triggered it initially, but it keeps getting worse. Then randomly, I have days where it doesn't hurt that much at all. The next day, I can barely move. My back gets hiccups -- spasms that won't stop where my whole body moves. It's annoying and painful. I can only do half of my PT exercises because the rest hurt too much. I am a hot mess.

I'm sucking it up and going to see the back doctor that I was supposed to go to last year -- the one that specializes in the epidurals. I'm just going for a consultation. I will see what I can learn and what his thoughts are about this episode of Blondie's Ongoing Back Nightmare. He is located at the hospital where I got the MRI last year, so he'll be able to see all of the parts that are pooching out or twisted or just plain Wrong. And hopefully, he will help me.

I've been to enough doctors about my back to know that our spines are a great mystery. I'm not naive enough to hope I will get a quick fix or solid answer about what's wrong and how to fix it. But there is something to be said for pain killers and muscle relaxers -- they DO help. Unfortunately, so many idiots abuse them that it makes it harder for people who actually NEED them to get ongoing prescriptions. I'm hoping that this new doctor will help me figure out which "degree" of back problems I have -- simple meds, shots, or full on epidurals? Please, oh please, let it be a small problem with a small solution. I don't want the big needle!

I have realized how blessed I am during this tough time. My parents have been super helpful -- taking out the garbage and carrying heavy things. Pa even scooped out all of my cat litter the other day. I was SO grateful. The smallest things can be the hardest things in the WORLD when your back hurts. Thank you for helping me, kind parents.

So even though I'd rather just sit here and cry about it and never move again, I'm putting on my big girl panties and going to see the needle-ish doctor. It's time. I need to figure this out and heal my body. Wish me luck!


Melanie said...

A friend of mine just got an epidural for back pain, I think its really helped her. I had spinals for both my kids c-sections and I thought getting the IV's were worse than the spinal shot if that helps? Hope you find some relief soon, I cant imagine. My Mom sees a chiro every few months, she doesn't get much "adjustment" but rather they hook her up to some sort of machine. Anyway if she keeps up the maintenance she has way less problems. Many hugs! I went to the dermatologist today, I went for a mole/freckle check but asked them about my thinning hair and such, and I left depressed, I am to use the MEN's Rogaine (sp) even though it specifically says on the box NOT FOR WOMEN. SHIT why is hair bothering me so much, I can always buy a damn wig!

Anonymous said...

i had two nerve blocks. Didn't help and the last one made my blood sugar go so high, I am now on insulin. That was a year and a half ago. I have scoliosis, spinal stenosis and degenerative disc (bulging disc) disease.

I don't know how the epidural works but with the nerve blocks, they go in with looong needles, find your paid spot(s) (that's when you say OUCH) and shoot pain meds in there.

Everybody is different, it may really help you. I just have to live with my pain, but you may actually be able to get relief.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

(i used to think i'd NEVER let anyone stick a needle anywhere near my spine, no matter what. it's surprising how chronic, intense pain can change your outlook, lol)


Kate Dunkin said...

This was a awesome post! I came across your post while I was looking for a back doctor in NYC because I got hurt recently and I'm definitely happy I did because this was such a great read. Thank you for sharing this with us!

Jenna said...

Dude. I'm training for a half marathon since I got my epidural shot.

Do it. You will love your back again.

jaxolivia said...

Thank you for sharing. After reading your post I got enough courage to schedule an appointment with a back doctor in Peabody, MA. For some reason I have always had this fear of back doctors and chiropractors and becoming paralyzed. Glad to know I am not the only one a little scared, although now I will fear peeing myself and getting a virus as well eek! Thanks..