So I'm probably going to get an epidural for my back. Good times. I have two herniated discs and joint damage/inflammation. The back doctor guy (an anesthesiologist by trade) told me he's done thousands of these and no one has ever started peeing their pants. I trust him. Kinda.
He also said he could put another kind of shot in the joint area that is a steroid to make the swelling go down. I asked him if that meant I would die of meningitis, and he said no. He uses clean/fresh bottles. He seemed kind, mildly amused by my anxiety, and thoughtful when I started crying. Ma came with me, so she asked all of the questions, including the awkward one about how redheads feel more pain and therefore need more juice. He acknowledged that yes, he often has to load up redheads more than the general population. Redheads, we get all the perks of life I tell ya.
*bangs head on desk*
I am VERY AFRAID of the big needles. I'm convinced I'll get some crazy staph infection or MRSA from the hospital. Stupid Things tend to happen to me, so I told the doctor I would probably be his first patient to lose control of her bowels with the epidural. I'm a magnet for body chaos.
I asked the doctor what kind of meds we could try instead. He gave me a sample of Lyrica, which I immediately came home and asked Dr. Google about. Oh, the side effects. I repeatedly saw the words "zombie" and "groggy" and "migraine headaches," which made me put the sample bottle in the drawer forEVER. Dr. Back Shot told me this was an anti-seizure medicine which is used to control back spasms. Uh huh. Forget it.
So now we're back to the shots. He told me they can work for two days, two weeks, two months, or two years. You don't know until you try it. (He's also had one because he has a back problem, which makes me trust him more, but still.) I WILL get "twilight sleep" before I get the shot, which is a bonus. If I can get myself to make the appointment. I'm still going to be
I DON'T WANNA!!!
I'm going to avoid thinking about back pain this weekend. That's all I've been thinking about for months, and it's time for a break. Maybe I'll actually drag myself out of the house and converse with some peers. I think it would be good for me. I'll talk to anyone about ANYTHING EXCEPT back shots or back pain or blown discs or the fact that my right hand is completely numb right now. I might have to hit up a watering hole. There are always fun conversations there.
5 comments:
as someone who's had MRSA, it sucks... but honestly, reading your posts, it sounds like your back pain sucks more - which is not to say that you WILL get MRSA of course! probably you will not. but just saying, it seems like the risks are worth it for how much better you will hopefully feel after you face the big needles :)
and...it seems you have a very experienced and careful doctor.
Mmmm. I take 300 mgs of Lyrica every night and have for a couple of years. I have not yet turned into a zombie (although i do love me some zombies), they do not make me groggy and, while i am prone to migraines already, do not cause me to have migraines. They also don't make me break out in hives (or dancing), cause my legs, arms, face and other body parts to swell.
Now, I have a very high tolerance to pain relievers of any kind. The stuff that knocks every one else out? It's like baby aspirin to me. (here's a funny story: i had a heart cath done a couple of years ago. they went in through an artery in my Right wrist, up my arm and across my chest. I told the Dr beforehand the stuff they give everyone else doesn't work on me. He smiled knowingly and said, don't worry, you won't feel a thing. So there i am in surgery and he gives me some drug starts with a V. Nothing. Dr says seriously? Seriously. Dr gives me a double dose. Nothing. Dr says well i can't give you anything else. I say, well, it's not like i didn't tell you this before. He then proceeds to thread what felt like a truck through an artery much, much, much thinner than the thinnest pencil in the world. Painful? Unbelievable. Well, that wasn't a funny story, after all, was it? Probably I should've started with "Girl gets wheeled into the heart cath lab". No? Oh well, I digressed anyway..)
So I take Lyrica and Klonopin every night. I have NO side effects and even if I did, they'd have to be pretty damn bad to make me go off the meds. Because while I still have mucho grande pain in my back, legs and feet, sister it ain't nothing like what it feels like when i don't take them. NOTHING. They make it bearable, they make the screamin in my head from pain stop. I'll risk a few side effects for that.
You're a smart girl. You know all meds have potential side effects. You know for some people, they will be legit and for some people, who study the side effects before taking the meds, they will be psychological. And you know that for most people, there will be little to no side effects.
Whatever your decision, it's your decision. Make it an informed decision, which it sounds like you are trying to do....just remember. The pain isn't going to just disappear one day and chronic pain can mess with the rest of your body, including your mind. Sometimes, a little risk to alleviate that pain pays off.
That's my version of optimism. It's all I got, kid. Good luck to you whatever way you go! (there. that sounded a little more cheerful and hopeful!)
Robin
You are all so right. I need to stop being scared and figure out what will work best for my back and IGNORE DR GOOGLE. I will let you know what I decide.
TAKE THE BACK SHOTS. MAKE THE APPOINTMENT. THIS IS GOD.
channeled through your sister
In other words, pray hard and row for shore. ROW FOR SHORE!
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