Child of the Corn

Ever since I moved home, I've been pestering my cousin Eagle and Eagle's father to let me drive the combine to harvest corn. Yes, I said drive. For some reason, I thought harvesting corn was like, easy. I mean it's just rows of corn, right? Ah, I love my own naivete sometimes.

Pa has offered to take me out a few times, but the timing was never quite right. Yesterday, the wheels all clicked together and the universe offered me a perfect day to learn more about my family's main profession. As Pa drove me out to meet the farmers, I reminisced about seeing Grandpa Blonderson on a tiny tractor with a yellow umbrella above it. My, how times have changed. And I remembered sitting in a combine with someone (Pa, Grandpa, Uncle?) on a tiny plastic chair feeling very, very HOT and uncomfortable. But that was long ago when I was a wee tot. It's a very hazy memory. Time for new ones!

When we arrived, the farmers were out doing their thing, so I wandered around and sat on a tractor for a while. Then uncle showed up to offload the combine. That's Eagle walking toward me in the photo below. The corn goes from the combine into that hopper and then into another giant auger and then into a semi to go wherever corn ultimately goes--some place where they sell it. The speed with which my uncle can unload that combine blows my mind. About 2 seconds later, he was swinging the door open and was ready for me to climb in:


Here is a better view of the combine. It can mow down 8 rows of corn at a time. My other uncle, Kira's dad, has one that does 12 rows at a time. These things are enormous!


My uncle is so freaking cool. I peppered him with questions about corn and machines and the combine and the rows and blah blah blah and he kindly answered every single one while somehow maintaining control of his behemoth machine. Fields are not straight. They are extremely bumpy. So we dipped and turned and bumped and sloped. This is what it looks like when you're driving along:


If you're not paying attention, could just veer off and screw up the whole operation. Uncle did tell me it's a little awkward to realize you've missed ONE row when you are halfway across the field. That would suck.

This is a view of the corn munching head that sits on the front of the machine. Those pointy things go in between the rows and funnel in the corn. The machine eats the stalks and ears and everything and spits out just corn kernels behind you into the hopper:


It only takes a few passes on one side of a field to fill the hopper, which holds about 300 bushels of corn in my uncle's combine. It beeped at us to let us know it was full. His modern combine was so much more comfortable than the old-school one I remember from my youth. It was climate controlled and had electronic screens showing what was going on everywhere in the machine. There was a passenger seat for me, so I didn't have to bring my little chair. It was lovely.

And then we got back and offloaded into a separate truck which put the corn into the hopper to eventually go into the semi:


And so I walked over and picked up a handful of corn and shoved it in my pocket to remember my special day with my uncle. He said I'm welcome back any time, and I will definitely take him up on that. Next, I'll conquer soybeans. But not until next year because the fields are barren. The harvest is almost done. And so another year concludes.

I've always had a hungry curiosity about life, but for some reason, farming eluded me. I wasn't as interested in learning about it because it was just there my whole life right in front of me. It seemed so easy--plant it, grow it, harvest it, sell it. Oh, how WRONG I was. It's soooo complex. Now that I live here and really listen to the farmers, I've learned how much energy goes into creating the perfect plant and keeping it healthy. And the sheer amount of physical labor is quite shocking as well. Three different hoppers just to get the corn into the truck? Good Lordie.

Farmers are gardeners, meteorologists, businessmen, landlords, renters, scientists, biologists, and geologists. Their brains are PACKED with information and their multitasking skills are quite unique. I had no idea. I want to learn more.

But the best part of all was sitting next to my uncle. Getting to be a little curious girl again with all of my questions. Chattering away and absorbing all he had to teach me. Hearing about Grandpa's way of doing things and his way and Eagle's way. Watching the corn crunch through the system faster than I ever imagined.

And knowing that whenever I need him, he will be there. Like when I went off the road once in icy weather in high school and he came along with a chain and pulled me out of the ditch. That is what family is really for--to throw you a heavy chain and assure you they won't let go.